I'm trying really hard during this lifestyle change of mine to convince myself that fruit is dessert. It's going pretty well, actually. I'm feeling a bit more mindful and connected to the food I'm eating, too. Something about coring and cutting an apple is comforting, more comforting than opening up that box of cookies that I always knew I shouldn't be having.
That brings me to another interesting point. I've tried really hard to stay in denial about the "obese" label. I have been in the weight range considered obese for my height for a few years now. I've always kind of laughed it off or glossed it over. At size 14, I'm pretty much right on the national average. In a country full of obese people, I'm not so bad in comparison, right? In the right outfits, I look downright not bad. Also, the fact that I have pretty big breasts always made me feel better about my not-quite-twig-like appearance.
The problem with that kind of thinking is that it doesn't take into account what I've been putting my body through. I am sick. My body is not doing well. High blood pressure and Diabetes can absolutely be helped, if not cured, with the proper diet and exercise. There is even some evidence that Endometriosis symptoms can lessen with weight loss.
That's why I have to stop the denial: I'm obese. I am putting my health at risk because I love donuts, french bread, pasta, and pretty much anything sweet. I have to choose better foods to feel better. I have to do it for my future self, and for my current self. It's embarrassing to say, those two words. But I'll shout them from the rooftops if that's what it takes to make this change real and permanent.